Being single has been a breath of fresh air to me. Honestly, I thought it would have been hard AF because I mean the way that society portrays being single- as if it’s a curse and you’ll just be lonely and depressed and hate life and yourself.
Naturally, I was waiting for something dramatic to happen on my first day as being newly single- as if a comet would fly over my head or some bs, or maybe I would erupt in a fit of tears or suddenly feel a bunch of self-loathing because I didn’t have a guy in my life.
But nothing. No magical comet, no crying, no self-loathing.
I woke up, and I was simply me. Good old life just kept moving on.
The realization that I wasn’t gonna die because I didn’t have a man sort of put things into perspective. So I made a choice. I could be single and be HAPPY about it. I’m looking forward to this new life as an adventure- something that’s exciting and filled with possibilities that ME, MYSELF and I, can experience.
Thanks to my new phase of self-discovery, I’ll share with you 5 reasons I actually want to be single.
Also, thank you SO much to those anonymous readers who sent in your personal experience with me! It truly gave me valuable insight into writing this post.
I don’t have to care about any one else’s opinions. I can literally do absolutely anything that I want to do, without caring about what my significant other (SO) has to say. New tattoo? Yes. Shave off my hair? If I feel like it. Hop on a plane and GTFO? Tomorrow sounds good. Become a Jew? See you for Hanukkah!
I only have to answer to MYSELF. Sure, it sounds selfish but I want to be selfish. I want to live on my own beat.
I refuse to let my life and my choices be dictated by any man.
I have learned the hard way that you could be the perfect girlfriend and a good woman to your man, and do every. single. thing. right in a relationship, and yet, a guy could still treat you like shit.
Here’s what I mean.
Years ago, I wanted a new tattoo but my Cheating Ex didn’t really fancy the idea, so I didn’t bother. I put his opinion before mine. Had I gotten the tattoo, I would have still had it as MY decision and something I wanted to do, with or without him.
So why the eff would I want to hold myself back from doing the things that I want to do because of the opinions of a SO? At the end of the day, that tattoo, that travel experience, that haircut or whatever the hell I want to do, would be MINE, with or without a guy.
2. Emotionally unavailable
It’s just too much to care and I’m simply not in a place to connect on that emotional level with anyone. I don’t want to be emotionally vulnerable to anyone and I think it’s because this year, I think I’ve seen it all when it comes to guys.
In addition to my Cheating Ex who whored his way through 7 years while pretending to be a holier than thou Jesus loving Christian, I’ve heard about The Abusive Doctor, The Invisible Dog Guy (who lies about having a dog??), The Cheating Fiancé, and a god-awful amount of Tinder dates gone wrong.
Yea no. I can’t even deal. Honestly, dating sounds like a grisly horror story and being single feels like I’m floating on a cloud of blissful emotional unavailability.
The thought of investing time and emotion into the kinds of guys out there these days, is something I rather not do. I’ve cried my way through the most part of 2017 and heard WAY too many WTF stories from other babes, that I’ll gratefully cry over a movie than a guy any day, thank you very much.
3. Less stressful
Not being in a relationship is beyond stress-free. I don’t have to worry about blue ticks with no replies, time stamps, answering my phone if I don’t want too, telling someone my every move or knowing about theirs, or the shitload of “responsibility” that comes from being in a relationship.
It was so refreshing to travel these last few months without wondering if a guy was throwing his dick out to the masses while I wasn’t there. Been there, done that & so over it.
Now, in this new world of singledom, let me just say that my stress level and anxiety has drastically reduced. I feel so much more at peace with myself because I don’t have to worry or have panic attacks wondering what the other person is doing.
4. Discover yourself
Right now, I love finding out what I like, as an individual. I’ve gotten into wearing long thick eyelashes (might be a phase but most likely not) and long nails (kinda obsessed really), lifting weights, graphic design and sooo much more. I love using social media and sharing my experiences with my readers & viewers. I love picking myself up and traveling- always have always will.
I learnt that I won’t give into negative people or comments, I am unphased by haters because I realized their opinions are irrelevant and they have some insecurity in their lives that make them miserable. I won’t accept disrespect from any guy. I refuse to be with someone who can’t accept those things, or accept me.
There’s just so much I’m realizing about myself, my standards & my beliefs. I’m liking new things and figuring out my life one day at a time. I’ve got nothing or no one holding me back and that my dear reader, is a truly remarkable feeling.
5. Realize you CAN do it all
I thought I would never be able to attend a launch event without a guy to be there with me as my plus one. But I did and I felt something in me that I can’t explain. I did this myself, without anyone else.
I thought I always needed a guy to be there at the airport when I landed. But for the first time in 7 years, after 10 hours of traveling, I hauled my suitcases into the car by myself, and drove myself home. And there it was again, that feeling. That I can do this. All of it. By myself.
I don’t need a guy to believe in me and my dreams. Sure it would be nice and I won’t lie, it was nice when it happened.
But I don’t need it. I can do it myself. I have been so blessed and humbled by all the amazing opportunities that I have had in my life so far, and it was because I did it on my own. No guy helped me when I created my blog, or learnt to code after nights of crying when one character was wrong, my graphic design, my video and editing, and so much more- was all me. I never relied on a guy in my life before, so why should I think that I can’t do it now that I am single.
Presently, I feel an amazing sense of possibility. I’m excited to see what I can accomplish being truly alone. And I’m even more excited for that feeling, when I am successful.
These are my feelings now and maybe one day, they will change if someone truly remarkable comes along.
I hope you enjoy this post! My blog is my personal space and as I grow and change, so does it.